I had a client today who came in frustrated with herself. In a meeting the day before, someone had asked her a question she simply couldn’t answer. Her mind went blank.

And then today, on a Saturday, the answer came to her, without her having to give it any thought. It just popped into her mind.

Nothing had changed about her intelligence or her capability overnight. This is where understanding the brain’s default mode network becomes incredibly useful.

When we’re in meetings, under pressure, being watched or evaluated, our brain is in task mode. It’s focused, effortful, and often a bit rigid. That’s great for execution, but not always for insight. When stress creeps in, that rigidity tightens. Access to memory, creativity, and flexible thinking can actually be narrowed.

But when we step away, go for a walk, take a shower, stare out the window, let the mind drift, the default mode network kicks in. This is the brain at rest, but it’s not idle. It’s quietly connecting dots, sorting information, and making meaning in the background.

That answer that came the next day? That wasn’t luck. That was her brain doing exactly what it’s designed to do when given space.

Let’s stop treating downtime as being unproductive, even indulgent. Sometimes it’s like a competition out there to put in the most hours, but downtime is essential. Without it, we push for answers in the very state that makes them harder to reach.

So if you’ve ever blanked in a moment that mattered, it doesn’t mean you didn’t know. It might just mean your brain didn’t have the conditions it needed to access what you already did.

 

 

Sometimes the most productive thing you can do for your thinking is to stop trying so hard to think. So take some moments. Sit and drink your coffee without working, get some fresh air instead of a sandwich at your laptop, meet a friend for a non-work-related chat and stop the guilt.

IEMT, is a therapy that can reduce the emotional charge of painful memories…
without you having to talk through everything in detail.

You may have heard of EMDR…
it’s been around a long time, and it works by using eye movements while you recall a memory.

But what most people don’t know…
is there’s a newer approach called IEMT, Integral Eye Movement Therapy.

A recent study compared IEMT and EMDR side by side…And what they found was really interesting,
both approaches significantly reduced emotional distress.

But here’s the part people don’t expect…

              Over 60% of participants actually preferred the IEMT experience.

And when they were asked why?

They said it felt:

• calmer
• gentler
• more natural
• and they didn’t have to explain everything out loud

 

If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, emotionally stretched, or like you’ve lost a sense of who you are…

The last thing you want is to sit and re-live everything in detail.

IEMT works by helping your brain process the memory differently. So instead of feeling stuck in it. You start to feel separate from it.

And that emotional charge begins to fade

For some people, EMDR feels quite intense, very focused, sometimes even tiring.

But IEMT is often experienced as softer,  more fluid, while still creating real change.

And the most important part?

             You don’t have to go back and analyse everything.  You don’t have to explain every detail.

              You don’t have to stay stuck in old emotional patterns.

If you’re ready to feel like yourself again, calmer, clearer, more in control. IEMT might be exactly what you’ve been looking for.

 

If you would like help feeling calmer, less anxious, or sleeping better, whether you are in Burton on Trent or anywhere else in the world, then contact me to book. I work face to face with clients and online

Research paper:

AN EXPLORATORY COMPARISON OF IEMT- VERSUS EMDR-DIRECTED EYE MOVEMENTS ON CHANGES IN EMOTIONALITY AND DISTRESS DURING RECALL OF NEGATIVE MEMORIES. Dalena van Heugten – van der Kloet1, Anouk Boonstra Naima Trouk3, and Anne ten Brinke

Journal of Evidence-Based Psychotherapies,

Vol. 26, No. 1, March 2026, 1-18.

It’s that time again, exam time.

It may be your first time going through this with a teen, or it may be that the more you go through it, the more difficult it gets. You know they are bright, you know they’ve done the work, and they really want to succeed. Unfortunately, exam anxiety and the desire to do well can go hand in hand

You may be noticing

• Anxiety building as exams get closer
• Panic, overwhelm or emotional outbursts
• “My mind goes blank” or fear of failing
• Avoiding revision or struggling to focus
• Putting huge pressure on themselves

You’re not alone—and more importantly, this can be changed. Remember, exam anxiety is incredibly common, especially in bright, conscientious teenagers. Whilst a certain level of nerves is normal, too much anxiety can interfere with memory, focus, and performance.

The good news?
Your teen doesn’t need to “get rid” of anxiety completely….They just need to learn how to manage it.

Hypnotherapy can help, including coping skills and strategies.

🟢 Session 1: Calm the Anxiety

Your teen learns how their brain responds to stress and how to use simple techniques to quickly calm their body and mind.

🟡 Session 2: Stop Overthinking & Improve Focus

We teach practical tools to interrupt negative thoughts and refocus attention on what matters.

🔵 Session 3: Exam Confidence & Panic Plan

Your teen leaves with a clear, simple plan to stay calm and focused, even if nerves show up in the exam.

The beauty of this course is that they can access it online wherever you are

♥ Plus resources to use at home

Exam Calm: A 3-Session Exam Confidence Programme for Teenagers

Online , wherever you are or in person at Alice & Co, Burton on Trent

 

When the Nest Empties: How Hypnotherapy Can Help You Find Yourself Again

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Your children growing up and moving on to pursue their own lives is a fabulous milestone, one which is worth celebrating. You are proud, excited for them, and glad to be able to pick up your life again before children. But there may be a sense of loss, perhaps a feeling of no longer being needed. The nest is empty. The house is quieter, the fridge doesn’t need to be full, and you recognise your role has changed. You may be asking yourself, “Who am I now?”

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

This is a huge transition. And like any transition, it takes time for the mind and body to catch up. You may also be experiencing this alongside work anxiety, relationship challenges and menopause

It can feel overwhelming.

Your brain has been wired around responsibility, care and routine, putting them first. Even when it was stressful or exhausting, it created a strong sense of identity and purpose. When that suddenly changes, the brain doesn’t instantly update. Instead, it can fall into a loop of thoughts like:

• “I’m not needed anymore”
• “I feel a bit lost”
• “Life feels empty without them”
• How do I cope when the kids leave home?”

These thoughts aren’t deliberate, they’re the brain trying to make sense of change. But when they repeat often enough, they can start to shape how you feel day to day.

Hypnotherapy can help

Hypnotherapy isn’t about “fixing” you, you aren’t broken. Hypnotherapy helps your mind gently adjust to this new phase of life, without dismissing the emotions that come with it.

1. Calming the Emotional Noise

Hypnosis allows the nervous system to slow down, reducing the constant replay of “what was” and “what’s missing.”

That quiet space is often the first step toward feeling more like yourself again.

2. Updating Your Sense of Identity

For years, your identity may have been centred around caring for others.

Hypnotherapy helps expand that identity, not by taking anything away, but by adding to it.

You’re not losing who you were.
You’re evolving into something more.

3. Letting Both Feelings Exist

You can miss your children deeply and begin to enjoy your own space again.

Hypnosis helps create emotional flexibility, so you don’t feel stuck in one state or the other.

4. Changing the Future Story

The mind can quickly jump to:

• “It’s always going to feel like this”
• “This is what life is now”

Hypnotherapy helps interrupt that pattern and gently open up new possibilities—so the future feels like something to move toward, not something to fear.

5. Reconnecting With Yourself

This stage of life can become an unexpected opportunity.

With the right support, many people begin to rediscover:

• interests they put on hold
• confidence outside of their parenting role
• a deeper connection with themselves

 

This Isn’t the End of Something—It’s the Beginning of a New Chapter

It may not feel like it right now, and that’s okay. Empty nesting isn’t just about missing your children. It’s about meeting yourself again, often in a way you haven’t had space to do for years. And that can feel unfamiliar at first, but it can also become something incredibly freeing. A new chapter in your life.

                                   

                   

What is best, in-person or online therapy, for issues with anxiety?

Turns out it  has been shown that either option works extremely well                                          

But which is the best for you?

Let’s take a look at the options so you can decide what would be best for you

Why hypnotherapy for anxiety Issues?

Hypnotherapy is simply a way of guiding your mind into a focused, relaxed state, the kind of state where change feels easier.

You’re not asleep or out of control
You’re calm and aware, more open to responding to change.

It’s just like when you’re completely absorbed in a book or driving somewhere familiar, your mind is attentive, but relaxed.

And that process doesn’t depend on a special chair or room.

It only depends on your brain, which is just as effective online or in person

                                   

Benefits of in-Person Hypnotherapy

 

Calm quiet space, with no distractions, creating a definite line between time for home and time for therapy.

There can be a greater feeling of safety and reassurance being physically in the same space as the therapist.

Sometimes it is nice just to get out of the house and have a change

Benefits of online hypnotherapy sessions

Online hypnotherapy has definitely grown since lock down.  Studies have shown it to be equally effective to in-person for anxiety issues, panic attacks or phobias

Clients often choose online sessions because they feel more relaxed and can continue to relax following the session. They are less time-consuming, fitting in around other commitments. Less stressful regarding parking, timing and traffic

You need to be able to see and hear the therapist, and have somewhere comfortable to sit or lie

Choosing the best option

                                                                                          Ask yourself:

 

Where do I feel most relaxed right now?

 

Is travel easy, or does it add stress?

Do I focus better at home or in a therapy space?

Would flexibility reduce pressure in my life?

 

And choose whatever feels right for you. You can always try both, and I do have clients who mix and match depending on their current schedules and locations.

IEMT for Anxiety: How Integral Eye Movement Therapy Can Help You Feel Calm and in Control Again

Anxiety can feel exhausting. Racing thoughts, constant worry, tightness in the chest, or a sense of always being on edge can make even everyday life feel overwhelming. Many people understand why they feel anxious — yet the emotional response still won’t switch off.

This is where Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT), used alongside hypnotherapy, can offer a gentle and effective approach to anxiety relief.

What Is IEMT Therapy for Anxiety?

Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT) is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that works directly with the brain’s emotional processing system. Rather than focusing on talking through problems in detail, IEMT uses structured eye movements to help the brain reprocess emotional responses linked to anxiety.

Anxiety often isn’t about the present moment — it’s the nervous system reacting as if something is still unsafe. IEMT helps the brain update these responses, allowing the body to settle and feel calmer.

How IEMT Helps with Anxiety and Panic

Anxiety is closely linked to how the brain stores emotional memories and automatic responses. Even when a situation is no longer threatening, the body may still react with fear, panic, or overwhelm.

IEMT helps by:

• Reducing the emotional intensity of anxious memories

• Calming the nervous system’s threat response

• Breaking patterns of anticipatory anxiety

• Lessening panic sensations and emotional overwhelm

• Supporting emotional regulation and resilience

Many clients notice they feel calmer and less reactive, even in situations that previously triggered anxiety.

Why Combine IEMT with Hypnotherapy for Anxiety?

Hypnotherapy helps relax the mind and body, reduce stress, and support positive thinking. IEMT works at a deeper neurological level, targeting how anxiety is stored in the brain.

Together, IEMT and hypnotherapy for anxiety can:

• Soothe an overactive nervous system

• Reduce fear-based reactions

• Help the brain feel safe again

• Create long-lasting change without forcing or reliving trauma

This combined approach is especially helpful for people who feel mentally aware of their anxiety but struggle to change how it feels.

You Don’t Have to Relive Anxious Experiences to Heal

One of the most reassuring aspects of IEMT therapy is that it does not require you to relive distressing or anxious memories in detail. You remain present, grounded, and in control throughout the session.

This makes IEMT particularly suitable for people with:

Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)

Panic attacks

Health anxiety

Social anxiety

Anxiety linked to past experiences or trauma

Emotional overwhelm and burnout

What Happens in an IEMT Session for Anxiety?

An IEMT session is calm, structured, and gentle. You’ll be guided through eye movements while focusing on how anxiety shows up for you — without analysing or revisiting distressing events.

Clients often report:

• A sense of emotional distance from anxiety

• Reduced physical symptoms such as tightness or racing heart

• Feeling calmer, lighter, and more balanced

• Greater confidence in managing everyday situations

Each session is tailored to your individual experience of anxiety and your personal goals.

Can IEMT Help When Talking Therapy Hasn’t?

Many people seek IEMT because they’ve already tried talking therapy but still feel anxious. Understanding anxiety intellectually doesn’t always change the emotional response stored in the brain.

IEMT works directly with emotional and identity-based patterns, helping shift beliefs such as:

• “I’m always anxious”

• “I can’t cope”

• “Something bad is about to happen”

By changing these unconscious patterns, anxiety often begins to loosen naturally.

A Gentle, Effective Approach to Anxiety Support

If anxiety has been running your life or leaving you feeling drained and on edge, IEMT offers a different way forward. Combined with hypnotherapy, it supports both emotional healing and nervous system regulation — without pressure, overwhelm, or re-traumatisation.

Feeling calm again isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about helping your nervous system feel safe.

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Coming Soon

Christmas is often described as “the most wonderful time of the year,” yet for many of us it brings pressure, the inability to say no, and emotional overload. From keeping everyone in the family happy, to financial costs and back-to-back social plans, your brain can quickly shift into stress mode.

When this happens, the amygdala , the brain’s alarm system, becomes more active. It interprets busyness, pressure, and conflict as threats, triggering the fight-or-flight response. This can show up as irritability, anxiety, trouble sleeping and even anger.

At the same time, the prefrontal cortex, your rational brain, responsible for calm thinking and decision-making, begins to tire. This makes it harder to say “no,” set boundaries, or even recognise when you’ve reached your limit.

In other words: a busy festive calendar can make your emotional brain shout louder and your logical brain whisper.

Part 2 coming next week

Pause before you say “yes”

A brief pause helps you to step out of stress mode and move into being more rational about everything . How about having  three slow breaths, they can give your brain the space it needs to respond rather than react.

Set simple boundaries

You don’t need to explain yourself in detail. A gentle “I’d love to, but I can’t this time” protects your energy and helps regulate your nervous system. Saying “no” creates space for your brain to recover and reduces overwhelm.

Tune into your body

Your body often knows before your mind does. Tight shoulders, a sinking stomach, or a racing mind are signs your nervous system is overworking. Use them as cues to rest or step back.

Choose what nourishes you

Your brain thrives on meaningful, not obligatory, connection. Pick the traditions, people, and moments that genuinely bring you joy and let go what brings you down

Give yourself permission to slow down

Rest is not selfish, it’s an essential for emotional health. When you allow time for quiet, your brain shifts out of survival mode and into a state where you can think clearly and truly enjoy christmas.